The Night Before Christmas in the Poker Room

 Twas the night before Christmas and all through the poker room,
Not much was moving, quiet as a tomb,
The chip racks were stacked on the side in a row,
Hoping some good luck would fill them with dough;

The players were sitting hunched in their seats,
Telling their tales of all the bad beats,
The dealer looked at me and asked,
Do you plan to bet or will you pass?

From out in the casino I heard a shout,
I jumped from the two seat to see what was about,
And what to my surprise did appear,
A fat guy drinking a bottle of beer,

He came into the room all in a bustle,
No one guessed it might be a hustle,
He slid into the six seat and yelled for a rack,
Looked around and said, "I'll leave when I've filled my sack,"

Through the air the cards did fly,
Lady Luck loved this red suited guy,
He played every hand never folding a one,
The outcome was always the same, he won and won,

When he had taken most of our chips,
He said I'm going to give you some poker tips,
I've played them all, the good and the great,
And let me tell you I can relate,

I've sat across from Hellmuth, Brunson and Chan,
Hachem, Reese, even a guy called Fossilman,
They remind me of a boxer with a glass jaw,
They can't even play me to a draw,

Now please excuse me, I really must go,
I got to make a stop at the Bellagio,
I left my Mercedes in their valet,
Don't look so surprised, I traded that drafty sleigh,

I hope you all have a very prosperous year,
I'll be back next Christmas to play poker right here,
Maybe you should read a poker book or two,
The way you play you don't have a clue,

Under you're pillow tomorrow you must look,
That's where I'll leave your copy of Brunson's super book.
And with that he turned and walked away,
Have a Very Merry Christmas Day!

Online Poker Room Adds $11 Million Guaranteed per Month

Mansion Poker has recently announced that their players will be able to look forward to $11 million guaranteed prize pool next month – and every month there after. The new monthly prize schedule has a host of guaranteed events that total up to the $11 million. This menas that the weekly prize schedule is up around $2.5 million and more in guarantees, with the last week of each month pushed up to a $3 million collective prize pool, thanks to the Grand Tournament’s half million guarantee alone. Players can buy directly into these events or play in cheaper feeders to win their way in.

More Heads Up for PokerTek

The latest thing when it comes to dealers in the world of poker is to not have them. PokerTek is the company that is making this happen with no-dealer machines that provide a live poker experience that is much like you would expect, just without dealers - and cards and chips. Everything is virtual, including in their Heads-Up version (branded as Heads-Up Challenge World Series of Poker). In this version only two players sit down to play Texas Holdem, and this machine is slated for pubs and restaurants. PokerTek has announced an expanded distribution schedule to include the UK and Ireland as well as the US.

Bluff Magazine Releases Chris "BluffMagCV" Vaughn

Last week, Chris Vaughn and Sorel Mizzi came clean about their account-selling victory in the October 21st Full Tilt Poker $1M Guarantee. Facing fall-out from that admission, Bluff Magazine decided to terminate Chris Vaughn's employment today.

Bluff statement:

Bluff Media, publisher of Bluff Magazine, has made the decision to terminate Chris Vaughn as Managing Editor. In light of Chris’ involvement, recently admitted facts and the feedback obtained from industry professionals, it became apparent that the credibility required to perform the job functions of Managing Editor of Bluff Magazine at our company’s level of standards have become severely diminished. While we regret having to make this decision, we believe that it is the best alternative for all parties involved, including Chris, Bluff Media and the poker playing community at large. We wish Chris the best of luck.

MTV Wants Online Poker Players

  Wanna take part in a breathtaking new documentary showing the exciting lives of online poker players? Yes, you too, can be a television star on an MTV series planned about people who live 'alternative lives' online. (Sounds like this is really someone searching for a Duplicate Poker player, but that's another story.)
The series, called "True Life," focuses on... well... we'll just reprint the True Life producer's pitch as posted on 2+2:
I'm producing a documentary for MTV about people who lead "alternative lives" online. We're reaching out to a number of different online groups and cultures, and we thought it could be fascinating to profile someone who gambles online. The key thing we’re looking for is that our subject leads a life that is very distinct/unique/interesting when juxtaposed to his or her online gambling activities. You must be in the age range of 18-28.
This would be part of the documentary series “True Life” which has won numerous journalism awards. I anticipate some eye-rolling when folks see everybody’s favorite whipping-boy network, MTV. The “True Life” series really does stand out from your typical MTV programming, as it is far less “reality tv” and more objective documentary. The series is always told POV the characters we choose, so there is no editorializing or commenting-on that we engage in. The effort, simply, is to tell the subject’s story in as objective a way as possible.
Please email your story, age, and a photo to: brosen@leftright.tv (Left Right is a NYC-based production company hired by MTV to produce this show)
Thanks!
Let's add a thought or two. First, they could've just hired Dutch Boyd. Not only was he wanting to reunite the 'Crew' a few months ago and trying to sell a series of his own based on online poker players sitting around a large apartment or house and staring at computer screens and farting, but with Dutch, you'd get the whole "alternative lives" thing and then some. Besides, whipping boys love company, too.
Whoever's selected, though, gets the hidden bonus: a return role on "Surreal Life 26" a decade down the road.

Poker legend Chip Reese dies at 56

Various online poker sources are confirming early morning reports that Chip Reese, a legendary poker player considered by many of his peers to be the best all-around player alive, passed away in his sleep this morning. Reese was 56.

Early reports have not pinpointed a cause of death. Wicked Chops Poker noted that Reese had been recently reporting suffering vague symptoms generally associated with flu or pneumonia. Reese suffered from rheumatic fever as a child, which can cause long-term issues with the heart valves.

The story of Reese’s entry into the world of professional poker has become a bit of a legend. As commonly told: In 1974, Reese was on his way out to California after being accepted into law school at Standford when he made a stop in Las Vegas to play some poker - a stop that lasted over 30 years.

The winner of three World Series of Poker Bracelets, author of the seven card stud section of Doyle Brunson’s Super System, youngest living player inducted into the Hall of Fame (1991), considered by many to be one of the best poker players ever–the loss of David Edward Reese will leave a hole in the poker world.

Tony G wins Moscow Millions, donates prize money to orphanages

Russia’s biggest poker tournament ever, the Moscow Millions, has ended, and winner Tony Guoga of Melbourne has won $205,000, two titles, and a gold bracelet. He’s keeping the bracelet, and “Russia’s National Poker Champion” and “RSPF’s Grand Champion of Russia,” but has already donated his winnings to Russian orphanages.

Guoga blogged about the event, saying, “I feel good just being in a position where I can give away money that I win in poker tourneys.”

After showing up three hours late due to a pressing dental appointment, Guoga dealt with the resulting 1k loss and beat out the 52 other players who had ponied up the $10,500 buy-in to compete for their share of the $500,000+ pot. There were originally going to be 150 more players, but those evaporated when Full Tilt Poker pulled out of its sponsorship, taking a much lower buy-in with it.

Speaking of the final table, Guoga commented:

I did not know the rest of the players that well but the standard of poker was really good. The final table was going to last 13 hours so we all had to be set for a grueling test. I was ready and really wanted to win. I think I was able to string together some really good plays and got players to lay down the best hands many, many times.

Poker Stars clears Chris Vaughn of any wrongdoing in Sunday Million win

Chris Vaughn, who made online poker headlines twice in the last few weeks, once for winning both the Full Tilt Million Guarantee and the Poker Stars Sunday Million in October and then again for having his Full Tilt win revoked when Full Tilt security concluded that he had passed off his account to another player in the late stages of the tournament, got some good news today when Poker Stars security confirmed that they had concluded their investigation of his Sunday Million win and found no evidence of wrongdoing.

In response to our email request for comment on the Full Tilt controversy involving Vaughn, PokerStars security replied with the following message:

Hello Chris,

A detailed security review is performed for every Sunday Million, shortly
after the completion of each event.

Our review of the Sunday Million won by ‘SlippyJacks’ revealed no evidence
to suggest that PokerStars tournament rules had been broken.

Regards,

StephenW
Manager, Game Security

Still an open issue: the possible involvement and pending response of well-known online poker player Sorel ‘Imper1um’ Mizzi.

The incident is creating (or revealing) an interesting rift between online poker players who view the scandal as a deep, real threat to the future and integrity of online poker and those who view such actions as inevitable and an inherent part of playing poker online - and perhaps even justifiable.

Reserve not met on Daniel Negreanu’s WSOP truck

Daniel Negreanu auctioned off the truck he won for being 2004’s World Series of Poker Player of the Year, but nobody came. Well, that’s not true. According to the eBay stats counter, 11,678 checked it out, and 23 people bid, but the reserve wasn’t met.

The auction just ended today, and it’s possible that Negreanu will decide to let high bidder “b***2″ take the 2004 Toyota Tundra for $19,100 — $1375 under Kelley Blue Book. The “WSOP 04″ vanity plate alone, which the auction states goes with the truck, just might be worth that to a serious collector.

Negreanu announced the sale on his blog (the same day as, but unrelated to, the announcement of his divorce) and might very well post updates there, too, on whether he will re-eBay the vehicle, sell it on land, or just maybe decide to keep it. After all, “The truck has a lot of meaning to him,” according to auction comments.